holiday highlights

just a handful of photos from our week...

our nativity on our mantle

Kaycey with Kit (her new American Girl doll from my grandparents) She's been inseparable from the doll since she got it!

Cal and his new Baltimore Ravens shirt, though the highlight would probably have to be the Madden '09 football game from Santa for his Nintendo DS (got from Mike's parents). Mike and Cal have been playing it constantly!! Kaycey got the DS, too. Two people can actually play the same game using the 2 separate handheld games. It's pretty cool! Except we were disappointed to find out even though Brett is on the cover of the game he isn't in the game because he was technically retired when the game came out.

Maddie & the infamous singing barbie from Santa

Cal, Kaycey, my Grandma, and Mom Christmas Eve night

Cal, my Grandpa, me, my sister, Kaycey & my Grandma on Christmas Eve night

the kids, Christmas Eve night, after their church services

The 5 of us at Mike's parents house for the gathering with just his parents and siblings last Saturday (12-20)

Mike's parents & their grandkids (Cal, Kaycey, & Maddie and their cousins) I can't believe every kid is looking forward and smiling!!!

Merry Christmas to all...

I'm glad to be home today, with absolutely no set plans, and no reason to have to leave the house. The week leading up to Christmas is always crazy, with at least 5 family get togethers, often more. Tomorrow is another family get together. I am glad to just sit at home & let the kids play with all their stuff all of today.

This past Monday morning was a really rough day, no reason in particular. Maddie woke up crying with a sore neck, she couldn't even turn her head. I, of course, was listing all the things in my head that it could be. Meningitis crossed my mind, though she didn't have other symptoms. I did call the doctor and got her in; figured best to be safe, esp. right before Christmas instead of ending up in Urgent Care or the ER. The Dr. said she likely slept funny since she could turn her head one way and not the other. It's much better now, but it was a bit of a scare at first. A 3 year old sleep funny? Have you ever heard of such a thing? Then the real scare came on that same day when Kaycey told me she had a bump under her arm that hurt. I freaked out and called the Oncology clinic immediately. After putting me on hold, transferring me, telling me they'd call back, (they are notorious for giving the run around); they did call back some time later and told me to call our pediatrician. This is always their response. I said this was the same arm that had been bothering her for months, and still just the "call your regular Dr." That is so frustrating. Our pediatrician didn't catch it the first time, why would she catch it now? Neuroblastoma is virtually undetectable without specific testing. After looking closely under her arm, it looks like she has some sort of scratch and scab, so that's probably what is hurting her. I don't know what it's from, and I will still take her in to the pediatrician to alleviate my worries. Probably nothing, that's why I haven't brought it up, but still I'll feel better once someone tells me it's nothing.

Anyhow, more about Monday...I was so happy my friend called me out of the blue. I really was so happy to hear her voice! I've been feeling kind of lonely, I haven't been working much, haven't been scrapbooking at all, and haven't seen any of my friends (for no particular reason really, just busy with holidays mostly I think). Anyhow, I also stopped by a couple friends' homes later that evening to drop off movie tickets that were ordered, and talking to them made me feel better, too. So thanks to my girlfriends, for making my day! : )

To add to my uneasiness surrounding Kaycey's health, Christmas Eve she wasn't feeling well most of the day. She ate nothing for dinner and no cookies (strange!). All the kids were exhausted from a long day and 3 hours at church singing in two different services. But, Kaycey was really tired and fell asleep on the couch shortly after opening her presents. While the adults were opening gifts later on, Kaycey started throwing up in her sleep. She had a fever, too. So while it could likely be a bout with a flu bug of some sort, I can't help but be nervous. No one else has gotten sick as of yet, and when she first got sick 4 years ago, we thought it was the flu (that no one else happened to catch). I think you can understand my anxiety and nervousness, and probably overreaction, too. This has really been on my mind more than ever before lately, and I'm not sure why it's different this year from any other.

I haven't been on the computer much at all in the past week or so. Just haven't had much time, and haven't really been in the mood either. It just hasn't felt like Christmas much this year...I've been thinking of too much else. I do have some great pictures though, and I will post them soon.

something to smile about...

on one of my favorite shows, "Word Girl" (an after school PBS show. Only second to my favorite, "Arthur"), they have a segment "what's your favorite word?" Cal said his favorite word was "gurgle". I said mine was "mesmerize". Kaycey said hers was "fart". Yep, you read that right. (insert uncontrollable laughter from children here).

so just anticipating this BIG snowfall. It better be big. I mean, for crying out loud, they started listed school closings this afternoon for tomorrow. It still hasn't started (not supposed to start for a few hours yet). I think the whole closing schools before it starts is a bit premature...

still feeling crummy today. I did work at the Scrapbook Store, so that kept me occupied. The kids had a Christmas show tonight at school, it was really cute. Santa lost his "jingle" to do anything because Christmas was starting to become all about presents, and what happened to the peace, and love, and cheer??? It was cute, there was a song where Santa thought he was lost and it went something like "my GPS is such a mess, I'm LOL..." then there was a kid dressed like a GPS and saying, "recalculating...make immediate U-turn," etc. It me laugh and remember my little day trip to the scrap stores in Illinois with my store friends.

on the go...

Usually I would be wiped out from a day on the go with 3 kids in tow. Spent well over an hour at Walmart with Maddie (darn those toy aisles, she was very good, just a struggle to keep her moving on and not playing with everything in sight!). After that, we stopped home to grab a few things, and went to pick up the kids from school. Usually they take the bus, but Cal had a Dr. appt. to check his finger one last time. So we took the "long" drive (funny how now that I live "out in the sticks", everything seems further away!) to the 30th and Layton area. We waited quite a while for the Dr--but the finger seems to be healed, he can resume gym and play but needs to tape the fingers together for a few weeks to avoid another injury. After the doctor, we went to eat at Noodles & Company. Usually we vote or I pick, but Kaycey let Cal pick because he went to the doctor (even though he didn't have to endure any shots or pain!) After eating, we went to the Learning Shop, and holy cow! We were in there for an hour and a half. The kids absolutely loved it. The kids play school all the time (Maddie the student usually, and Cal and Kaycey the teachers) so they really thought all the real teacher stuff in there was so cool! Cal found books he wants to ask Santa for. He said all he wants are books. Wow, can't argue with that! So while shopping for cousins, I managed to sneak in an encyclopedia Cal thought was awesome. And I bought a set of report cards, etc. meant for playing school for the three kids to share. After the shopping trip, we stopped at McD's for a potty break, and then had to deliver movie tickets to someone who lived near Mayfair. We didn't get home till almost 8, but the kids were so well behaved it didn't matter.

Onto a more somber note...so I started my post with how I'd usually be exhausted from the in and out with 3 kids around this time of year...but today I am glad I kept busy. I needed it to keep my mind off of things. I routinely check up on fellow kids we met at Children's Hosp. diagnosed with Stage IV NB (same cancer as Kaycey), or on other kids we hear about & get links to their blogs or care pages (a site set up just for parents to blog to keep family & friends informed). I try not to check up too often because then I get really down (I can name only a handful of kids out of way too many who haven't relapsed or earned their wings, as we prefer to call it). I met Jack just after Kaycey got released after her long stay for transplant. He had just been diagnosed, and his mom wanted to talk to a mom who had been through it all. I met with her a couple times. He since had relapsed a little over a year ago, but was treated & given the NED (no evidence of disease). Well, they found out yesterday he relapsed again. For those who don't know much about this cancer, Kaycey is literally a walking miracle. Statistics say approximately 325 children a year in the U.S. are diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma (worst of 4 stages)-- about 25% survive. The five year survival rate for high risk kids is 30%.Then there are factors that decrease the chances even more--for every additional poor factor (amplified MYCN gene, unfavorable histology for example), we fell into that worst case scenario. I know, silly of me to dwell on things when things are "normal" now. But with all the kids relasping and earning their wings all around us because of this monster of a disease, it is such a reality check, that we are never out of the woods, and never will be, and while I always worry, every ache, every pain Kaycey has worries me, I worry 1000x more after reading the heartwrenching posts, like the one about Jack today. All day I felt as if I had a bowling ball in my stomach, and still do. So I am so thankful the kids kept me busy all evening, I hardly had a moment to think about it all until now.

photos of the season

I just posted, but here are some pictures. I haven't put pictures up in a while on here!


My mini-ornaments tree in entryway on a table (It's about 18" tall or so)



The kid's tree in the dining room

Close ups of my favorite ornaments...(thank goodness I found all my little houses, I love them!)

Our attempt at a Christmas card photo in front of the tree didn't go very well Friday night. This is the best photo I took, which is alright, but the quality of the photo itself didn't turn out great.

They went out and played in the snow Sunday, and I brought my camera out. So this is the Christmas card photo I think...I really usually have my cards done and mailed over a week ago!!